T-10 weeks: "Build 1 Week 1 - It's so hard to lose a loved one"

Dear Papa,

This week was my first "build" week - the workouts are getting more intense and longer, and luckily, just in time, the weather is starting to warm up as well, and we're slowly moving into spring.

On Wednesday, we did the long ride outside exploring the local trail system, down through Rock Creek Park, all the way down to Mount Vernon in Virginia, back through Del Ray and Alexandria, and then back north on the Capital Crescent Trail. Riding trails is so fun, and it's nice to not have to worry about traffic, but it is also much harder to consistently push higher watts. Needless to say, Jim's not a fan. It was perfect for this workout though, as I was supposed to stay in Zone 1/2, and we got all 4:10h in that I was supposed to do that day. The other rides I did inside this week, partly due to later hours and colder weather, partly because I want to do my bricks (bike and then run right off the bike) on my triathlon bike instead of my road bike to get used to what my legs will feel like during the actual race, and the tri bike is still on my indoor trainer.

My track workout on Tuesday was tougher than usual. The guys in my pace group were all fresh and springy and really pushed the pace. Even though I was able to finish my intervals within my goal time, I fell behind during most of them. Partly, it probably wasn't smart to have eaten a good-size early dinner only 2 hours before that was still sitting in my stomach and slowing me down, and partly, the warmer temperatures seem like they're slowing me down a tad, or at least making me less edgy. I'm loving the warmer weather, but pushing it is much easier when it's colder.

My brick (run off the bike without break) felt pretty good this week though! I was fatigued for sure, and the 90 minute interval ride got my legs pretty tired, but I started the run easy and slowly built up speed, and 2 miles into it, I started feeling really good and was even able to push it a bit.

There was no organized long run with my Speed Development Program this week, but I was able to meet up with Maryam and Katy yesterday and get my 14 miles in. Maryam is going through an incredibly hard time right now, and I can relate to it so much. At times, both us us were crying together while running. She lost her beloved brother two weeks ago. He was only 62 and died out of nowhere, after playing volleyball with his friends. They tried to do CPR and bring him back after he collapsed on a bench, but he was gone. I was transported back to my own pain around your passing - you were only a few years older than Ahmed, and it was equally unbelievable and unfair to lose you so young! It was hard to see Maryam have to go through that. I love her and cherish her friendship so much, and feeling both her pain and my own had me relive those early days and weeks in the hospital. It is all still right under the surface, all the pain and grief, and in moments like that, the tears are right there, as if they had been waiting to come out. Sometimes I wonder if I need to do more dedicated and intentional mourning. I'm so grateful for training, for that outlet of the Ironman training, and for friends like Maryam and Katy. Grief wants to be felt to relieve its grip on you.

Overall, training is really going super well! I keep building fitness systematically, my form and fatigue are always staying within acceptable range, and I'm balancing periods of hard work with recovery pretty efficiently. And my body is responding! I've never felt fitter in my entire life.

We're only 10 weeks away from the race, and I'm starting to get really excited! I dream of triathlon almost every night, and sometimes, I can't believe that it has become such an integral part of my life! I think you would've really enjoyed following me when you were still among us, but you might be enjoying it even more now, tuning in and out of my experience and doing the training with me. That is truly what I feel during some sessions - suddenly, you're there! And then we're swimming, biking, and running together!

Quick report on this week: 8,500 yds in 3 swims and 2:45h, 130 miles of cycling in 4 rides and 8h, 26 miles in 3 runs and 4:15h, 45 mins of strength training, and an hour of yoga. Not the largest week in any of the disciplines separately, but I'm getting up there in terms of total training hours.

I've been thinking a lot about you this week, Papa. I think partly it is because of Maryam's loss, but somehow, you are very present these days. I hope you're enjoying the ride with me. I certainly am!

I love and miss you, Papa! Please keep visiting. I'm counting on it!

Kathrin

P.S. Dear Reader, if you have comments, questions, memories, or thoughts to share, please leave a comment (and leave your name in the comment so I know who it's from). I would love to hear from you!

Go to the full list of blog posts or read more about the project Ironman for Papa