T-42 weeks: "It's only official once you've signed up!"

Dear Papa, and dear Reader,

I just did it! I officially signed up for the IM Hamburg next year! Wow! I can tell you, the moment I hit that button, I could feel my heart drop, and I immediately counted down: 42 weeks left to get in the shape of my life.

A friend said that it only gets real once you've signed up. She was right. It feels real now.

One morning earlier this week, right after I had mentally committed to doing that race, I woke up in a panic. My heart was racing as I thought about what this means: Countless hours of long, hard training during the cold winter months. The fear of not knowing what I'm getting myself into. And that voice inside of my head went nuts: "What did you get yourself into? You were already fully exhausted after every Half IM you've done, how on earth are you going to finish a Full?"

Whenever I think about the suffering that will come with that race, I remind myself of how hard you have been fighting for more than two months between your accident and your passing in the beginning of this year. Even though you were in a coma the entire time, your body went through unimaginable hardship, and I can't even begin to understand what that must've been like. Everything in you was fighting for survival! I'm tearing up as I'm reading this. It was so hard to watch, but it also made me so proud of the incredible strength you had. If you can fight like this, Papa, I can too!!

I'm writing this as I'm still in the middle of the 2024 triathlon season, which had already been a bit of a stretch for me. After having completed a 10-mile running race, an Olympic triathlon, a Half Ironman swim/bike, and a Half Ironman, I've now got another 10-mile running race, a Half Marathon, and a Half Ironman ahead of me - all in the next seven weeks. I think you would've enjoyed cheering me on this year. It was easily the most races I've ever done in one season. Right now, I'm in what they call a "build" phase towards my next Half Ironman. The workouts are quite intense, and I'm tired a lot, but I can also feel how I'm getting stronger and stronger. I'm already the fittest I've ever been, and I keep building. It feels amazing!

I think a lot about what physical fitness and keeping in shape meant to you. This week, after I posted on Facebook that I will do the IM, Sophie posted a picture of you when you jumped into the Alster, acclimating to the water during the Olympic Triathlon in Hamburg six years ago. It makes me smile ear to ear. I can mentally hear you making funny sounds as you splash around.

I wish we could've done a race together sometime. How fun it would have been for us to do a triathlon together!

Last month, when I spent a week in Hamburg, I did my bike training on your road bike! It was so special! It was slightly too big, of course, but I made it work. Tim took me on the route that the two of you used to bike every week. He told me about how you cut corners, didn't use your brakes, and rode like a maniac. We laughed a lot about that, because if anything should've gotten you killed, it was probably something like this. On that ride, we passed the tree that you are buried under. It's growing strong and healthy. Tim was wearing the custom-made cycling jersey that he designed for you and him. Team Peters. Always, Team Peters!

That same week in Germany, I also did my running training on the trails around your house that you used to run on, and the swim training at the pool that you went to every week. It felt like you were with me on all of them. I can always feel you with me on my workouts and in the races here in the US now, too. I could hear you cheer when I landed on the podium at a local triathlon earlier this year. And I could feel your presence all around me as I was running towards the finish line at the Half IM in Maine two weeks ago. It's true what they say. You never fully leave. And I'm so grateful for that!

To give you an update on my training: This week was 3 hours of swimming (9,200 yards / 8,400m), 6 hours of cycling (115 miles / 185 km), and 4.25 hours of running (25 miles / 40 km). My workout highlights this week were a run in the absolute pouring rain yesterday (I have never been so drenched), and today's bike ride, which was a 2.5 hour loop, together with Jim and my friend Tim. I met Tim here in DC; he is also from Hamburg and lost his mom only a few days after we lost you! What an incredibly tragic coincidence! We met up in Hamburg as it all happened, which we always wanted to do, but never thought it would be under such tragic circumstances.

Swimming continues to be my weakest discipline, but I'm getting stronger and faster, slowly but consistently. My running has really improved over the last few months, and I'm excited to keep working and pushing on that. My biking is still my strongest discipline. It's also something that Jim and I fully share and love doing together, so it has double the meaning for me. You and I shared this over many many years as well, biking home together on our respective commutes from work. You are essentially the reason for my strong cycling legs. Thank you for instilling the love for bikes in all of us kids, ever since we were little.

This is it for now, Papa. I'll write you every week from now to let you know how things are going and to share a few more stories and memories. I love you, and I miss you terribly.

With much love and a big big hug,

Kathrin

P.S. Dear Reader, if you have comments, questions, memories, or thoughts to share, please leave a comment (and leave your name in the comment so I know who it's from). I would love to hear from you!

Go to the full list of blog posts or read more about the project Ironman for Papa